What If Hearts
by KageSakura
Summary: My Kingdom Hearts parody collection. All plot bunnies, and one shots, featuring a variety of characters and themes. Don't take it too seriously...Rated for mild cursing...R&R please!
1. Sora the Time Crosser

**I couldn't sleep last night and a few parody drabble plot bunnies attacked me...KH related so of course I shall put them here...The bad grammar used for Sora's speech, is on purpose. **

**Warnings: Mild cursing and a lot of randomness  
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Summary:**What If plots bunnies! Brought to you by yours truly! **

**Chapter 1: What if Sora could travel back in time?**

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Disclaimer- I own nothing from Squaresoft or Jupiter, although I wish I did own Riku...and Cloud...((sigh))  
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Riku stared out at the ocean. He sighed.

"What are ya up to?" his friend Sora came from nowhere almost knocking him off the tree he was perched upon.

"Sora?" said Riku coming out of his fantasies and half-glaring (yes half) at the spiky-haired brunette. Cobalt blue eyes started back at him. Sora was standing up with his hands behind his head as usual pacing circles around the silver-haired teen. Wait...since when was Sora so tall?

"So...?" Sora demanded to know what was on Riku's mind.

Riku forgetting his confusion over Sora's unexplained height, stared out his friend then out at the ocean again. The aquamarine waves reflected in his own aquamarine eyes giving him an amazing feeling of serenity.

"I was thinking about if there were other worlds, than Destiny Islands you know," he said finally. "Like the one Kairi came from, worlds somewhere beyond the ocean and such..." He was silent for a moment.

Sora stared at his friend in awe his wide blue eyes making contact with Riku's slanted sea colored gaze. Then his tranquil stare turned into a full fledged angry glare.

"Not again!" he yelled, catching Riku by surprise obviously.

"Look you, I'm tired of this shit. I didn't go through all I went through, befriending a duck and dog and running around chasing and saving princesses from stupid spawn-like-rabbits-in-heat shadows just so you can complain about being bored on an island! The last thing I need is for you to go opening a friking portal to darkness breaking all hell lose on Destiny Islands and joining up with he forces of evil and having Kairi kidnapped and locked in some unknown place, while I run around like a friking idiot cuz I'm losing my memories in some humungo castle some girl drew where I have to fight you like a gazillion times and almost get clobbered due to the fact that I'm tired from trekking friking annoying maze like worlds...And I especially don't need to have you lose yourself and Kairi and even myself to a stupid dark force capable of destroying the world as we know it! So think before you speak you ungrateful silver-hair pretty boy! Trust me we don't NEED any other worlds!"

With that Sora or whoever he was; He looked like Sora but more mature, made his way down the shore muttering something about a damn gummi ship. Riku just stood there confused as all heck, staring blankly trying to piece together what the hell had just happened.

He decided to climb back up on his tree, and lie down a bit; his head was a bit spinney. Riku stared out at the ocean. He sighed.

"Hey, Riku what are you thinking about?" It was Kairi his other friend of short pink hair, she walked up to his tree and stared at his gruelishly handsome yet very confused face. She watched get up from his perch and jump down.

"Where are you going?" asked Kairi as her eyes followed him walking up the beach.

"Home." came the simple reply. "See ya later Kairi." With that, he made his way up to the little house that was his home, he had suddenly lost interest in other worlds.

**_OWARIMASHITA!_**

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**_psshhh longer to write than think up... Read and Review please! )_**


	2. Forbidden Fruits

**A/N: And here's another…Again, incorrect grammar in characters speech is on purpose.**

**Disclaimer: If I say I don't own Kingdom Hearts, would you leave me alone already?**

**Summary: The secret evils of the Paopu fruit.**

Forbidden Fruit

Sora and Kairi were looking at the star-like fruit hanging from the tree.

"So this is the paopu fruit," said Sora as he gazed at the pretty shaped treats. "It's interesting."

"Riku wants us to share it," said Kairi pensively wondering why Riku would even pay attention to her love life. "It is said those who share this fruit have their destinies become intertwined." 

"But WHAT IF---!" came a voice from absolutely nowhere.

A boy eating a riceball and wearing green overalls walked up to them. He was never before seen on this island so of course Sora, Kairi, and even Riku; who had been surveying the scene from atop his trusty tree, were astonished to see him pop out of thin air

"WHAT if something TERRIBLE happens!" the boy finished dramatically, complete with holding his riceball to his heart, without squishing it mind you.

"My dear lady! Eating that fruit may as well be the last thing you do if you are not careful!"

"What do you mean?" asked Kairi. For some reason she seemed more interested in what the boy had to say than as to question the reason for his existence on the island in the first place.

"Who the heck are ya?" asked Sora who obviously thought different from Kairi.

"My name is Jack and I will tell you my story" the boy said sadly putting down his riceball and looking at them.

An annoyed Sora, an intrigued Kairi and a now amused Riku listened to this strange kids tale.

"Once when I was but a teenager of 15---"

"You're lying," said Sora. Jack looked like he was 12.

Jack glared at Sora but continued anyway. "Once when I was a young boy of 13 (he emphasized 13), me and my beloved Jill would sit under this tree and think about the amazing properties of these fruits. One day we decided to share one. ALAS----!

After these words he had paused. So did everyone else waiting for him to continue. He didn't.

Finally, Riku, being the most forward one of the group, asked: "Alas what?"

"I don't remember," said Jack, and everyone face fell unto the sand ((it was quite amusing to watch)) "It was so long ago. Oh well...Then as if he had only seen them for the first time he greeted them. "Hi I'm Jack, oh I see you have a paopu fruit those are very special, very special indeed...yep. Yet there is something important I should be saying. But I can't remember what. Oh well you kids enjoy your lunch," 

Jack took the star-shape fruit and cut it in two. "Sharing is good." he said. And as he was about to take a bite of Sora's fruit, a whirlwind of green pigtails snatched the fruit and threw it out of his hands and onto the sand.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" It screamed.

Sora, Kairi, Riku and Jack blinked. The whirlwind slowed down to reveal a 12-year old looking girl wearing a a white shirt and green skirt to match her green pigtails. She looked at the paopu fruit on the floor in disgust. She stepped on it with a bright green toe of her shoe.

"WHO THE HECK ARE YOU?" Sora blurted out, before he could stop himself. The girl just looked at him, then at Kairi, her eyes lingered on Riku who felt uncomfortable ((aww Riku)) and then she looked at Jack.

"This" she said pointing to the squished fruit, "is the reason our life as we know it is ruined!" Wow she was dramatic also, go figure.

She started stomping on the poor remains of the star fruit that never did anything to anybody. _((sniff))_

"I'm Jill," she said finally introducing herself. "And it's all Jack's fault anyway. You see when we were young we sat under this tree and looked at this fruit all day. One day we decided to share the fruit, that intertwines destinies. But as I bit into my half and Jack into his, the stupid dolt chocked on the fruit causing him to fall off the tree and died. Leaving me with the same destiny as him! Death!" (Haha, Jill came tumbling after)

"Omg!" said Kairi. "So youre--"

"And that's not the worst part," Jill continued. "Since the sucker died in the middle of eating the fruit he never finished it, meaning he left behind unfinished business, and was forced to stay here in the same 12 year old form forever as his destiny. Guess who shares that destiny?" said Jill bitterly.

"That sucks," said Sora with his arms behind his head. "So are you warning us so we don't end up the same as you?" he pondered thoughtfully.

"No of course not!" said Jack shrilly.

"We just want all the fruit to ourselves so we can eat it all and can cross over," said Jill as-a-matter-of-factly.

Riku rolled his aqua eyes, "How noble."

But the two kid/ghost/green lovers weren't listening. They were too busy trying to stuff starry fruits down their throats. Of course, they didn't have any luck. But it was fun to see them try.

"These guys are nuts," Sora whispered to Kairi.

"Let's go," said Riku. He had had enough wierdness for one day. Sora and Kairi followed leaving the see-through love birds to their intertwined destiny, of trying to eat paopu fruits, despite their ghostly forms.

"So I was thinking of making a fruit-salad when we got back," said Kairi as they made their way up the shore to their homes.

"Nah, I think I'll lay off of fruit for awhile." said Riku.

**OWARIMASHITA!**

**Now a word from your friendly author and her muses**

**Jack and Jill: Why isn't it working! ((stuffs down more fruit, fruits slide through them down to the floor)) **

**KageSakura: ((Steps slowly away from the weird green characters she created))Hope you liked this one, it's my favorite. The characters were a bit weird though…**

**Jill: Oh, shut up! You should have thought of a better ending KageSakura. You should have paired me up with ((dramatic pause)) Riku. ((looks at Riku wiggles eyebrows))**

**Riku: Um...no…((sweatdrop)) **

**KageSakura: No way Riku's mine! ((sees Riku run away)) Hey, come back here! **

**Oh well people read and review please!**

**Jack: OR ELSE----!**


End file.
